Are you a private person
who keeps most of your thoughts and feelings to yourself?
Do you simply not trust others
enough to be open with them?
If so, you may think that keeping yourself private
is a good strategy to have in life.
You may figure it will protect you from being hurt.
Well, yes, in some ways it may do that.
But it will also prevent you from being able to love.
And being unable to love
has to be one of the most painful things
there is.
So…
adopting a strategy of remaining private
may very well backfire on us!
But what is our alternative?
Building trust
Our alternative is to build ourself
into a more trusting person.
To truly love another person requires
a great deal of trust.
It requires us to open up and share
our deepest thoughts and feelings.
When we trust another person
enough to open up and share deeply
we become capable of connecting with them
on a deep soul level.
We become able to love them with our whole being
which is the only way we will ever be happy.
But who shall we trust?
There is only a certain kind of person
who is safe to trust deeply enough
to love with our whole being:
a person of high character.
We can allow ourselves to be vulnerable
only with an honorable person
who cherishes our shared humanity.
I describe some of the character traits of such a person
in my previous posts:
What does it mean to be a true friend?
and
How should a man hope he is described after the first date?
When we meet someone,
before even going out on a date with them,
it is good to be asking ourselves
if they have the essential character traits
of a trustworthy person.
To become a more trusting person
requires developing excellent skill
in evaluating people and discerning
who is trustworthy and who is not.
To learn more about how to evaluate a potential partner
I highly recommend getting hold of the book:
Are You The One For Me?
Knowing Who’s Right and Avoiding Who’s Wrong
by Barbara De Angelis.
You will learn how to
notice what is important
right at the beginning,
BEFORE you get involved.
And if they also pass my Friendship Quiz
(contained in the post on friendship\mentioned above)
they are indeed a keeper
and you can safely dare to share your soul with them.
And what will it take to share your soul with them?
You will need to become transparent.
So let’s look at what that means…
What is transparency in a relationship and why is it so beautiful?