where a woman can build her strength and freedom

How to solve a problem

To solve a problem we see a photo showing the hand of a person holding up a magnifying glass against the sky, as bright light shines through the glass.

Is there a painful problem you have in life
that you would really, really like to be free of?
Maybe something you do
that doesn’t make you proud, even though it may be fun?
Something you have vowed–over and over!–to stop doing, but can’t?

Do any of these efforts to solve a problem sound familiar…

I have tried to stop losing my temper but…
I have tried to stop eating junk food but…
I have tried to stop spending all my time on my cell phone but…
I have tried to stop playing video games all day but…
I have tried to stop speeding in my car (or truck) but…

Most people have a long list of problems like these
that they try year after year to conquer.
Each time they don’t succeed, they get more discouraged.

If this sounds like you, let me ask:
How would you like to stand out from the crowd…
be different…
stop suffering over it forever
and actually SOLVE a problem?

Can you imagine how free that would make you feel?
Yes, you can.
So let’s DO this!
I will teach you how to solve a problem in 3 steps.

The Three Steps To Solve A Problem

Step One: Take full responsibility
Step Two: Figure out the root cause
Step Three: Take the power away from the root cause

Is it really that simple, you ask?
Yes. There are only three steps.
(We leave out all the wailing and gnashing of teeth.)

The toughest step to do is actually Step One!
(more on that later)

To show you how to take each of these three steps,
let’s take a common problem and solve it.
Let’s take the problem of speeding.

Speeding may or may not be a problem you have,
but solving it will illustrate how to fight and win.
You will see how to solve a problem once and for all.

How To Stop Speeding

Step One: Take Responsibility

If you look at the situation like this:
These speed limits are so effing stupid,
cops just enjoy ticketing and love to set up speed traps,
slow drivers drive me nuts
and I have important places to get to NOW

…it may be time to look in the mirror and ask:
“Why am I being a jackass,
just like all those other rebel drivers on the road who piss me off.”
Once you can admit that’s what you are doing
you will realize it’s time to grow up.
Time to take responsibility.

Yes, this is the hard part.
To assist you to take responsibility please see my previous posts:
The joy of taking responsibility for our own life
Who is the director of the movie of my life?

Step Two: Figure out the root cause

Ask yourself: What is the real reason I am speeding?
Recognize that your attitudes about laws, cops, and other drivers
show that you are taking a victim position.
You are seeing yourself as the victim of the big bad world.
Recognize that by speeding you rebel against the world
and you get to feel “powerful”!

Acknowledge that breaking the law
and endangering your safety and the safety of others
is not actually what true power is made of.

It is just an illusion of power!

Conclusion: The root cause of my speeding
is I am trying to pretend that I am powerful.

Step Three: Take the power away from the root cause

Ask yourself: How can I spoil the fun of pretending that I am powerful?
Each time you get behind the wheel, look in the rear view mirror and ask yourself:
“Wow, I wonder how big and bad and powerful I can pretend I am TODAY?”

“I wonder how many times I can play my stupid speeding game on my way to work?”
All you have to do to ruin the fun of a problem
is to stuff some really good banana peel questions like these
down your gas tank


Yes, to take these three steps to solve a problem
requires courage, insight, and willingness to change.
But the only way you will ever change is to challenge yourself
and ruin the fun of the stupid problems.

Give some thought to how we solved the problem of speeding.
Put your mind to how you can take these same steps yourself now
and solve one of those problems you are sick of having.

Go get ‘em!
And let me know how it goes.

Dr. Hall