where a woman can build her strength and freedom

Who is the director of the movie of my life?

Two young people in a theater  watch a movie as you consider:  Who is the director of your life?

You have probably watched some movies that have left you wondering “Who
the heck is directing this thing?!?!”

Maybe the plot wandered all over like a cow in New Delhi, or was so stone
cold boring you were falling asleep, or had so many speedy twists and turns you got

“Is this the best they could DO???” you wonder.

As far as our own life, we don’t really ever get to sit down and watch it unfold.

They say it passes before our eyes if we are drowning, but the price of
admission is rather steep.

Do you know the definition of a codependent?
If we are drowning, someone else’s life passes before our eyes…

But let’s talk about your life.

Who is directing it, and how is your story going?

Are you game?

Let’s DO this!

My favorite video

I have a favorite video I have watched a dozen times, and I’ve danced to the
song many more times than that.

Camila Cabello in Havana

You may have already seen it, but let’s take another look.
Watch when she’s in the movie theater, what happens at the end of the movie…

I’ll wait while you go see. It’s only 7 minutes.

click here for Camila Cabello in Havana video

Going for it

So what does the star of the movie say when Camila gets upset with her
over the unhappy ending of the love story?

“Hey, sweetie–If you don’t like my movie, go write your own!

And so she does.

She creates her own love story, with a happy ending that is in fact her new beginning.

In the video, as in real life, Camila Cabello goes for it.

I find this inspiring.

Makes me laugh, makes me happy, just like the song—every time I dance to it.

So who’s directing Camila’s life?

Sure looks like she is.

So what about you?

What about your movie?

How is your story going?

And who would you say is directing it?

If it’s going well, you probably won’t mind seeing your name on the credits.
But if this flick is making you kinda queasy, you may wish to deny you had
anything to do with it. 🙂

Facing the music

I get it.

There are major segments of my life that I would like to forget ever happened.

It was much easier to blame my parents, my circumstances, other people.

I did a lot of that, before I went into psychoanalysis and found out how much of
my pain had not been inevitable.

How much I had unconsciously constructed myself.


But that recognition meant I could deconstruct the cause of my own suffering
as well as the suffering I had caused others.

Doing so has made all the difference.

Taking responsibility


So if you aren’t thrilled with how your story is unfolding, what do you do?

The key is to take full responsibility for your own life.

Face the fact that, both consciously and unconsciously, you are the director.

Accepting this fact is the only way you will have the power to create a new

As long as you view someone else or something else as the director of your life,
you are giving them the power.
You will either take a passive victim position–sit there and suffer–
or you will rage against whatever external factors you hold responsible
for your life not being what you want it to be.

You will keep your focus outward, and never face your own responsibility
nor your own malevolence.
Never facing the negative depths of yourself, you will never have full freedom,
no matter what social change may occur.
You will still feel like you are watching a bad movie in which you are stuck.

Reclaiming your life

But when you stand up, fully aware and fully responsible,
as the director of your own life,
you are never stuck, in any permanent way,
because so much of your story is yet to be written!

You can write it and direct it anew, with your own fully aware best self.
It is never too late to reclaim your life even if it has been lost for a long time.
Mine was lost for years.
I came back. So can you.

It is a wonderful feeling to re-emerge, taking responsibility for your own life.
It means you are actually grown up!

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean heaping blame on yourself.
It’s not about blame. It’s about facing yourself.
Be merciful and forgiving, toward yourself and others, as you do so.

You are reclaiming your power.
The power to move in a new direction.
The capability to create a new beginning.
You have more power than you realize.
You are more capable than you think.


What direction would it make you happy to lead yourself in the coming year?

What challenges are you facing?

I hope you will write and tell me.

Dr. Hall