where a woman can build her strength and freedom

What can I do to feel less lonely?

An outstretched hand shows how we can feel less lonely. We can build a bridge and connect with others, both receiving and giving.

Are you feeling lonely today?
If you are, I’m sorry.
Feeling lonely is extremely painful.
It’s like being stranded on an island and nobody comes to find you!
You send out messages in a bottle but no one receives them.

Sometimes you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.
Especially if they are all paired up.
That makes you feel even more lonely.
I get it.

And you are so tired of it.
am I going to offer you some cheery cheery thoughts?

But I’m not going to just leave you to sit there and suffer, either.
I am going to offer you a path forward to begin to feel less lonely.

Are you with me?
Let’s DO this.

A Lonely Cry

When I think of loneliness I think of the Beatles song Eleanor Rigby.
Played it again just now.

Eleanor Rigby
Picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Father McKenzie
Writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

It’s like a cry to the universe.
I bet a lot of lonely people sang along with this song, and still do.
It’s comforting to share pain we all have at some point in our lives.
Where do we all belong? we ask.

I felt very lonely when I left home at 16. I had no connection with
anyone, and no idea what to do about it.

Over the years I’ve spent a lot of time alone.
Have been alone now for the past four months
due to temporary circumstances separating me from my man.

Being alone is not the same as being lonely

Being alone can be sad at times.
But I have come to realize it’s not the same thing as being lonely.

It surprises me, but I don’t feel lonely now, even though I’m alone.
Why is that, I ask myself?

Well, I stay continually connected with wonderful and beautiful
resources (spiritual, psychological, political, musical, artistic)
through which I receive a great deal of goodness and sustenance.
As a result, I am full, not empty.

And these resources that I receive and absorb allow me to create
and generate new ideas and new love and energy to give to others via the internet.
Thus I find I am connected with others, even though I am alone.

Our loneliness comes from our emptiness

I now realize our loneliness comes mostly when we are empty and
have nothing to give, and therefore have no connection with others.

To show you what I mean, let’s look at the hand in the photo above.
Let’s imagine it is your hand.

Three ways of looking at your hand

I want you to imagine three different things your hand could be doing
in that photo.
That is, I want you to see your own hand in three different ways.

  1. Your hand is empty.
    There is nothing coming into it.
    And there is nothing going out from it.

    It is empty.
    It has no connection to others. There is no bridge.
    It is a lonely hand.

  2. Your hand is receiving goodness coming in!
    It is open to the wonderful treasures of life!
    It is reaching out to receive beautiful and vital sustenance.

    It is full!
    It is connected to others by a bridge coming in.
    It is not a lonely hand any more.

  3. Your hand is reaching out to give goodness!
    It has received so much, so many blessings, it is overflowing.
    Now it is reaching out to share them.

    It is full! And it is channeled.
    It is fully connected with others, by a bridge going both ways.
    It is not a lonely hand at all. It is the hand of a builder.

Your path forward

Maybe right now your hand is the first hand, the lonely one.

But I believe you can open up your lonely hand!
I believe you can open it up and start receiving.
Just as you are receiving my words right now.
Soon you will be receiving beautiful music, writing, art, sermons—
all the rich discoveries that your heart desires! They will give you joy.

Let the world build a bridge to you!
This bridge is your connection.
You won’t have a lonely hand any more.

From full to overflowing

And then, over time, when you go from full to overflowing,
I believe you will start building a beautiful two way bridge.
So that you can give your best to the world.

Why will you do that?
Because you are a woman who cares.
A woman who wants to make a contribution.
You’re a builder in the making.

That is why you are here in the golden salon today.
To become a builder.

Lonely no more

Becoming a builder is the best way I know to not be lonely.
Builders aren’t lonely, because they are connected with good people.
Even when they don’t have a partner of their own.

But because they attract good people, it likely won’t be long until they
do have one.
It all starts with opening up to receive the goodness of life.


What are some of the good things you are going to fill yourself up with?

I would love to hear your plans.
Write me!

Dr. Hall