As promised last week,
in each of my posts from here
I will take one of the dimensions of a whole life:
mind, spirit, body, character, identity, capability, contribution, love
and offer you the first steps to build it.
So, today we start with your mind.
We are tackling your mind first
because a strong healthy mind is the necessary foundation
for building all the other areas of your life.
Let’s begin with a question
I want you to ask yourself:
Who is my best friend?
WHO is the person I count on most
to take action, defend me,
and do everything possible to make my dreams come true?
Hmmm….
Take your time and think hard.
Maybe you answered with the name of a spiritual figure.
If so, it’s good that you have your source of spiritual strength.
But now ask yourself: “Among living humans, who is my best friend?”
Is it:
My Mom
My Dad
My brother or sister
My Aunt or Uncle
My Grandma or Grandpa
My friend/classmate/boss/co-worker (name)
My boyfriend or girlfriend
My husband or wife
My teacher
My coach
My pastor/priest or rabbi or imam
My doctor
My therapist
These answers are all highly positive.
If you answered one of them,
you are fortunate to have a person who is fully on your side in life.
And you are fortunate to recognize it.
But maybe you answered:
No one.
Meaning, you don’t have a best friend.
Maybe no friends at all.
If so, I am very sorry to hear that.
Your situation is extremely painful.
But hey, you are here today, in this place, connecting with me.
So I hope you will cross out No one and write Dr. Hall. (Any port in a storm. 🙂 )
But however you see it, go ahead and say it:
“My best friend is: ___________.”
Let’s continue with another question
Now I want you to ask yourself:
“Who is my worst enemy?”
WHO is the person who–every day–
is most out to judge me, defeat me, and destroy me
–so I will never achieve any of my dreams?
Think hard about this.
Hint:
It’s the person who makes you most angry,
and makes you feel the most disappointed.
The one who causes most of your daily suffering.
Tell me straight.
Maybe you answered Satan, or another spiritual figure.
But now ask yourself: “Among living humans, who is my worst enemy?”
Is it:
My Mom
My Dad
My brother or sister
My Aunt or Uncle
My Grandma or Grandpa
My friend/classmate/boss/co-worker (name)
My boyfriend or girlfriend
My husband or wife
My teacher
My coach
My pastor/priest or rabbi or imam
My doctor
My therapist
If none of these is your worst enemy, name whoever is.
A leading businessman, a leading racist, a dictator,
a right wing leader, a left wing leader,
a leader of the patriarchy or of the progressives,
Donald Trump, Joe Biden, or …
whoever you see as inflicting the most ruin upon your life.
Go ahead and NAME that person.
“My worst enemy is: ___________.”
And bring forward your answer to the first question:
“My best friend is: ___________”
Answers
You may not believe what I say next.
It will take some getting used to.
But the most accurate answer to both questions is the same:
YOU.
You are both your best friend and your worst enemy.
The constructive part of you is your best friend.
The destructive part of you is your worst enemy.
The balance of power between them
determines the health of your mind.
It’s an inner war.
Your constructive part has to fight continuously
to repel the lies and attacks from within.
Your biggest danger is surrender.
Surrender is suicide, of one form or another.
To achieve a strong healthy mind,
you must strengthen your capability to be your own best friend
so you can fight and win.
You must become an even better friend to yourself than anyone on that list!
All those people are wonderful to have for friends,
but you need you the most.
Becoming your own unstoppable best friend is a tall order,
but it can be done.
To put it bluntly
Allow me to offer you a concise explanation of the mind.
Like how a therapist explains commitment to a couple:
“It’s ham and eggs.
The chicken is involved. The pig is committed.”
Here’s my take on the mind:
“It’s friend and enemy.
Both are committed.
You’re the friend. Beat the crap out of the enemy.”