where a woman can build her strength and freedom

Do I see life in black and white, or is my vision free and colorful?

Glasses resting on a path, showing us we all see life through a lens, often in black and white.

Did you know everyone wears glasses?
Yes, everyone sees the world through their own particular lens.
It is sad, but many of us see only in black and white.

I don’t mean we are color blind.
I mean, we see everything in absolute terms.
People, ideas, theories, beliefs…are either ALL GOOD or ALL BAD.
There’s nothing in between.
We judge everything and everyone in a total way.
Do you know anyone who sees the world like that?

If we join the outrage culture, we get caught up in this destructive view.
But it gets tiresome after a while…yes?
What would our vision be like if instead of black and white, it became free and colorful?

Are you game to take a look?
Let’s DO this!

How we see ourselves

You may be in a place right now where you see YOU as “all bad.”
If you are feeling depressed, you are under severe judgment from within.
If it is any comfort, self appointed saviors of humanity and social justice warriors
on both left and right who see themselves as “all good” are in worse trouble than you.
Being so perfectly righteous, their deep denial makes them much harder to reach!

I once knew a therapist, a fellow psychologist, who sought my support because he
was facing disciplinary action. I didn’t know if it was justified or not. But as he told me
about the situation he put his hands on his heart, looked me full in the eyes and declared
“There is no bad IN me!!!”

I thought WOW.
Any psychologist who sees himself as that pure has no business doing psychotherapy.

When we were a child we thought as a child

A child thinks in black and white.
Everything is either good or bad.
In the early stages of life, we have a stark view of people.
We either love them, or we hate and fear them.

But as we mature, we begin to see that everyone is a mixture of elements.
Our mother is neither a saint nor a monster.
It begins to dawn on us that neither are we.
We are neither all black nor all white.
We are many different colors.

Yet our absolute thinking continues to hold us back.
We still see our own kind as pure and correct.
And those other people–who think differently than we do—as evil and incorrect.

We have this dangerous division right now in America.
Half our country sees the other half as enemy.

But I have faith that you generous hearted gen z will develop the vision to unite us.

What does your way of seeing have to do with your education?

Everyone talks about the importance of a good education.
Mostly, they mean one that will set you up for a job with a good income.
So if you study hard, get a job and make good money, does that mean you are educated?

Becoming educated is about developing a free, mature and independent mind.
A mind with the capacity to think and to see in multiple dimensions and colors.
Not just through a lens where you see only in black and white.
With an educated mind you are capable of seeing yourself and others in all aspects,
both positive and negative.

Your vision sets you free

You are liberated by your new capacity to see everything and everyone
in all their colors.
You no longer give total immediate acceptance to any idea or cause,
no matter how much social pressure is being applied to you.
Nor do you immediately totally reject it.
Instead, you thoughtfully and carefully evaluate the whole issue
and the organizations behind it.

You evaluate people with balance and mercy, no longer with extreme standards.
You become able to see and understand the value of the whole person.
You become capable of finding and cherishing the gold, in others and in yourself,
and not letting go of it even when faults and failings get in the way.

That is what we do here in the golden salon.
We find the gold, we take hold of it, and we don’t let go.

Begin by actually seeing one person

To build with another person who sees life differently than you do–
to make a friend of someone who is on the other side of our great divide–
get together and talk with him or her.
Do your best to see the world through his glasses.
Instead of self referencing, talking about yourself and promoting your own views,
you follow up with questions about his views, the way an interviewer does.

You are out to discover how and why he thinks and feels the way he does.
Instead of debate, instead of trying to change this person into your own image,
you strive to learn something of value from him.

Understand something you never understood before…
See something you never saw before…
Find the common ground between you!

There is magic in listening without judgment…
There is magic in seeing with your eyes wide open…
Do you see all the beautiful colors in this person?

…and what about you?
Maybe it’s time for you to see the beautiful colors in you, too…
They are right there inside you, waiting to be seen…

So here is my song for you today
click here for the song link


What is the best part about having free and colorful vision?

Write and tell me!

Dr. Hall