where a woman can build her strength and freedom

Let’s build a WHOLE life

A large house surrounded by green trees, in the process of being built, shows us that to build a whole life we need a strong framework in place.

To build a life that is full and complete,
we can’t disregard or omit
any vital dimension.
To have a life we love,
we need to build a whole life.

Unfortunately, it’s really easy 
to put major components of ourselves
in the rear view mirror.
We can forget real fast 
who we are
as a whole person.
All it takes is obsession!

Are we obsessed?

let’s take a look at our New Year goals.
Did we set one particular goal
that we are hell bent on accomplishing?

Maybe we vowed to finally lose weight and get physically fit?
Or to ditch our job and land a better one?
Or to make a total change of our love relationship?

These may all be be worthy goals,
but each is one-sided.
If we focus totally on just that one goal,
we may well achieve it
–but what about the rest of our life?
Will we also grow in the other areas?
Or will we just muddle along in them
–or even go backwards?

The takeover

when we make a total commitment 
of our time and energy in just one area of our life,
our goal tends to take over our whole existence.
We eat, think and breathe it.

I mean…
who cares about our family
when we’re on the trail of a higher paying JOB !?!?

we may indeed get that new job 
but in the process lose other things 
of equal or greater importance.

I love this song by George Strait: 
Amarillo by morning

He will be in Amarillo by morning
but “lost my wife and a girlfriend 
somewhere along the way…”

Sometimes it’s worth it 

There are a few times in our lives

when the sacrifice is worth it.
Austin Butler went into isolation for three years
to transform himself into Elvis.

I isolated myself for nine months to write my PhD thesis,
culminating four years of semi-isolation constructing my theory.

You, too, no doubt have had times when you
gave everything you had to one goal
because you had to.
Your whole life was on the line.

Another way

Fortunately those times are rare.
Most of the time,
to keep the best of ourselves and grow it stronger,
we need to live another way.
We need to think wide. 

Thinking wide is very different from single-minded obsession.
But it is a far better strategy for the long term.
When we think wide,
we see ourselves in all our dimensions.
Doing so allows us to realize 
how much we need to grow 
in each and all of them. 

We develop our insight and awareness.
Tending ourselves as a whole person
is more challenging than single-minded devotion,
but it’s how we build a whole life.

So, what IS a whole life?

The way I see it,
a whole life
–healthy, strong and free– 
Is built in eight dimensions.
Everything we are 
is contained within them.


Our life takes shape as a whole
by maintaining forward motion in all eight dimensions.
This is actually doable,
even while we work on a major goal.

I don’t have time !!!

Do I hear you?  You say you don’t have time?
You are absolutely right.
None of us has time. 
Because we waste so much of it.

It is mind blowing
just how much of our precious time
we pour down the drain every day.
When I examined my own use of time, 
it shocked the heck out of me.

If you can bear to find out 
which drain(s) you are pouring your time down,
just jot down your activities as you go through a typical day,
noting the time you spend on each.
Do this for three days,
then read your notes…
and weep.

If you have been honest with yourself,
you may feel queasy.  I did.

So THAT’S why I don’t get anywhere…
Yes, that’s why.
It’s not a lack of time.
It’s what we’re doing with it.

We can change our ways

Fortunately, once we realize 
how much of our twenty four hours
is actually available 
…and begging to be reclaimed…
we can ask ourselves:
         Well, what would I rather be doing with my time?

We can go ahead and embrace our freedom 
and our power
to devote our time to creating a whole life. 
A life we will love.

In each of my coming posts,
I will take one of the eight dimensions of a whole life
and offer you some first steps to build it.

Are you with me?

Dr. Hall

PS As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and questions!